if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize