I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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