2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
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We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
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Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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