Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
