Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my phone needs a breathalizer
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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