oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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