i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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