i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
