What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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