Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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