its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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