What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
ok first of all what the fuck
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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