just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
