Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
