Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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