you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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