I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
