And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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