I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
