tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
