I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
