I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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