how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
