a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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