I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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