So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize