so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
