Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize