the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Houston, we have a squirter
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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