why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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