I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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