The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
