well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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