doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
