Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
