Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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