Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
