Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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