Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We left an ass print on the piano.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
