He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i dont even know how to be here
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
