Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
