Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well I just put wine in my tea
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
