You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
