It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
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Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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