Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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