..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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