And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
