she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize