naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
