I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
