I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize