just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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