The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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