you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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