But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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