My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
