worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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